Did you know that we make several decisions a day that reflect our own inner sense of self-worth? That every day, we decide what sort of treatment we will or won't accept, both from others and ourselves?
How we treat ourselves sends out a message to the world and the Universe (not to mention reinforces our own beliefs) about how well we deserve to be treated in this life and what we deserve from other people.
For instance, some one who constantly makes poor decisions in their love life and keeps going back to partners that treat them badly, probably doesn't believe on a core level that she or he deserves better. Even though their friends may be telling them they deserve so much better, they sigh and say 'Yes I know', but repeat the negative pattern of behavior.
As a result, this is the message they give not only themselves, but also the Law of Attraction, and as a result they are drawn to the same kinds of people, who in turn are drawn to them.
There are many other decisions we make that also convey our level of self-worth, not just to ourselves but to the world. For instance, each time we choose a nutritious and tasty meal that is equally satisfying and healthy, over one that is nutritionally empty, we are saying we deserve the positive option.
Think of the child who takes his or her self-esteem from the way their primary care-giver treats them. A child whose parents don't make enough time for them feels it is because they are not worth making time for (as adults, we understand time demands and intellectually know that our parents did the best they can, but we can still carry those feelings with us into adult hood. Indeed, many of us do). The child that is always cared for and given plenty of time will have a higher opinion of his or her worth, and believes they are treated well because they are special, beautiful, worth making a fuss of.
As adults, and even in our late teens, we become our own primary care-givers. We make the decisions that our parents once made for us. So what sort of a message are you giving yourself? Are you worthy of good food, nice clothes, a satisfying career, healthy relationships? Or do you feel that you are unworthy, and make decisions that reflect this feeling of inadequacy?
Ideally, once realizing that your self-esteem needs a boost, you would simply feel better and start living your ideal life. However, it's not as easy as that. This is where we introduce the concept of 'Fake It Till You Make It'.
In other words, think about how a person who completely loves themselves and knows they deserve respect would treat themselves, and take those actions. Even if you don't feel it internally right away (and like all things worth doing, this can take time), you start to give your mind, body and heart positive messages. Like the child that says 'Mummy and Daddy treat me well so I must be special', your body, mind and heart will start to say 'S/He treats me well so I must be deserving'. Eventually, your feelings will line up with your positive behaviors.
So what are some examples of making decisions that are centered around self-caring and self-worth?
The one I've used already is to choose food that makes you feel and look good. Fresh fruits and veggies, lots of water, whole grains and good quality treats that are eaten for enjoyment, rather than emotional binging, such as dark chocolate versus junk chocolate, or a fresh made dessert with cream versus a supermarket dessert.
Some other examples are:
Choosing clothing that reflects our inner state of self-worth. This doesn't necessarily mean following fashion or wearing cosmetics, but rather wearing clothes that make you feel good and fit you well, and maintaining personal appearance and hygiene (and this applies to men as much as women).
Choosing to engage with people that treat you with respect, including your opinions, thoughts and emotions, and who value you as an individual.
Choosing to take good care of your physical and mental well-being through regular exercise, massage and meditation.
Choosing not to mess up your mind or body with excessive alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. These things wreak havoc with your health, complexion, mental abilities and can often act as mild depressants.
Making time to just be by yourself. This is essential for recharging your 'batteries', and may involve going for a walk, sitting down with a book and a cup of tea, taking yourself out to a movie or museum or just staying in for a night with a DVD.
Doing a course on a topic that you enjoy
Ensuring you give your body plenty of sleep each night
Following your own instincts and guidance as to what is best for you, rather than what others expect of you.
When you start to make some positive choices, you'll notice the difference in how it makes you feel as compared with how you feel when making a decision that doesn't benefit you as highly. After some time, you'll want to make the more beneficial decisions more often.
Yours in Self-Love,
JessieAnne XO
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